Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
