Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
