Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize