I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
