I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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