Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
