I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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