you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
