do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
