well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
