LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
