She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
