At least make sure they are 18
Why
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
my poor anus
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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