We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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