redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
