i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
In America we eat man semen.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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