what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize