So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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