You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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