so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
