So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i think i have two assholes
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
