so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
