The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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