you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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