We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
