what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
