I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
