so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
