if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
