I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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