I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
