idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
