i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
