whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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