Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
