They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
