Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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