Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
