Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
