He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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