i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
