$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
