I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
