I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize