i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
