garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
