why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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