my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
