Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
