Taylor Swift is so right about you.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Someone came in the potted fern
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
