please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Randomize
