I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
