I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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