Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
