ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
