I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
