As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize