Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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