Whod you bang
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
