Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
