I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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